Replacements makes a nice substitute

You`ll pardon me if anything related to pro football only makes me sad these days - I live in San Diego where, as of this writing, the Chargers just barely scraped through their first win of the season.

In a way, I can relate to Keneau Reeves and his pack of losers who get a chance to play pro ball as strike breakers in "The Replacements" (Warner,PG-13, VHS/rental, DVD/$25).

The script is as improbable as the Chargers winning their division this year: The Washington Sentinels go on strike before the playoffs and the team owner(Jack Warden) recruits a one-time legendary coach, Jimmy McGinty (Gene Hackman), to pull together a team of scab players in one week.

OK, maybe it is more probable than the Chargers winning lots of games.

McGinty finds his players among the people Budweiser makes beer commercials about. Reeves is a laborer on a scrap boat; Jon Favreau is a L.A. cop with a penchant for rough stuff, if you know what I mean; Orlando Jones has the speed of Mercury and hands like butter; Rhys Ifans is a chain-smoking Welshman who can kick a ball into the next county.

You get the picture.

Losers with big hearts. Hearts bigger than the game. Hearts bigger than multimillion-dollar contracts for quarterbacks who have the maturity of a stone and an ego the size of Texas and ambition you could fit into an eyedropper. ... Sorry. Can`t help thinking of the local team as I write this.

"The Replacements" has its charm and some funny bits. If your favorite football team happens to be the San Diego Chargers or something akin to it - I`d strongly recommend renting this movie and playing it during this weekend`s game. Your family - which is really tired of hearing you complain about something over which you have no power - will thank you. They might even join you in front of the TV for the first time in weeks.

ALSO THIS WEEK

"The Land Before Time VII: The Stone of Cold Fire" (Universal, G, VHS/DVD) - In this feature-length animated sequel, Littlefoot and his friends set off in a quest for a mysterious "stone of cold fire" that blazed across the sky and crashed in the Smoking Mountains. Actor Michael York provides the voice for Uncle Pterno, who also covets the stone for its rumored magical powers.

"Running Free" (Columbia TriStar, G, VHS/rental, DVD/$25) - The story of a friendship between a young orphan boy and a colt named Lucky in an African mining town. Both are the property of a mean plantation owner and destined for lives of hard labor until they find the resolve to stand up and seek freedom together.

"Hip Hop 2000" (Delta Entertainment/MTI, R, VHS/DVD) - J-Dub (Desi Arnez Hines II) is an underground hip-hop rapper with a hot single who entrusts his music and his future to a street-hustling record store owner, T-Hun (Troy Hunter). When the single becomes an Internet sensation, T-Hun disappears with the cash when J-Dub comes to collect. Let the chase begin!

"Trois" (Columbia TriStar, R, VHS/rental, DVD/$30) - In this erotic thriller, a nice house, a hot career and a beautiful wife (Kenya Moore) aren`t enough for Jermaine (Gary Dourdan). The mysterious Jade (Gretchen Palmer) enters into the domestic scene and soon enough Jermaine`s neat little fantasy turns explosive.

"Star Wars Trilogy" (Fox, VHS/$40) - The original three movies in the George Lucas sci-fi series are available as a boxed set for the first time in three years. The set includes 10 minutes of footage from "Star Wars Episode II," which has finished principal photography and will be released in theaters in the summer of 2002. ("Star Wars Episode I" is available on VHS tape, priced under $20.)

DVD UPDATE

Fox Home Entertainment nods to the rising stature of actor Russell Crowe with the double-disc release of his breakthrough movie "Romper Stomper" (rated R, $27). Crowe is the charismatic leader of a neo-Nazi skinhead gang in Melbourne, spewing racial hatred targeted at the local Vietnamese community. The discs include a commentary track from director Geoffrey Wright, excerpts from the documentary "Skinheads - Reality and Fiction," as well as interviews with Crowe and Wright. "Romper Stomper" is available now.

Columbia TriStar will debut on Jan. 30 two Spike Lee movies on DVD: "Get on the Bus," which follows a group of men on a spiritual, as well as physical journey from Los Angeles to Washington, D.C., for the Million Man March; and "School Daze," Lee`s early look at black college life. Both movies come with an audio commentary track by Lee.

Didn`t quite get up early enough on Saturdays to catch the first season of the kids` animation series "Digimon: Digital Monsters"? No sweat. The 13-episode first season is coming to DVD on Dec. 5 as "Digimon Season 1." Putting whole TV seasons on DVD seems to be the trend.

Available this week are all 25 episodes in "The X-Files Season Two," a seven-disc set from Fox, priced under $150. Can you say "fan-atical"? The set includes a 15-minute documentary, "The Truth About Season Two." Among the season`s episodes were "Little Green Men," "Duane Barry," "3," "Exelsius Dei" "Colony" "Anasazi"and "End Game." The seventh disc is crammed with interviews of specific episodes, special-effects clips, deleted scenes and a clip of Gillian Anderson eating a cricket. There is also a DVD-ROM game, "Unholy Alliances."

COMING ATTRACTIONS

Jan. 16: High energy, romantic comedy "Coyote Ugly."

Jan. 16: The Bruce Willis inner-child comedy "The Kid."

Jan. 23: The life and crazy times of Abbie Hoffman are chronicled in "Steal This Movie."

Jan. 23: What "Coyote Ugly" did for dancing bar babes, Kirsten Dunst does for high school cheerleaders in "Bring It On."

Jan. 23: Another TV cartoon comes to life in the all-star "The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle."

Jan. 23: From the creators of "Air Bud" comes another family/animal sports pic, "MVP: Most Valuable Primate" - yup, a monkey on ice. (And you thought most NHL players were a gene away from primate status ...)

Jan. 23: From French director Frederick Fonteyne, "An Affair of Love."

Jan. 23: Intertwined stories pivot around each one of the senses in "The Five Senses," starring Mary Louise Parker.

Jan. 30: Oscar Foreign Film nominee "Solomon & Gaenor."

Jan. 30: What if Vincent van Gogh returned a century after his death - in Los Angeles. Find out in the fantasy "Starry Night."

(c) Copley News Service

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Author: Robert J. Hawkins