Rewriting history

The World War II submarine action-thriller "U-571" (Universal, PG-13, VHS/rental, DVD/$26) is based on a true story. The Germans really did have an unbreakable Enigma code, and it was captured in a top-secret mission. This much is true. It is also true that, at the time, the German U-boats (submarines so named because of their lettering designation) were pummeling the ships of Allied forces in the Atlantic. While the Allies could intercept German transmissions, they could not decipher the messages. Getting the Enigma code became a real matter of life and death.

Fact and fiction diverge significantly in this $80 million box office picture, set in 1942. Most significantly: It was the British who captured the code. Not U.S. submariners. In May 1941, the Royal British Navy seized an Enigma code mechanism from U-110. In October of the following year, the Brits captured another German sub carrying an Enigma de-coder, U-559. It wasn`t until June 1944 that American forces captured a German sub of their own, U-505. (Which you can view, if you`re ever passing through Chicago. It is at the Museum of Science and Industry.)

As long as U.S. Congressmen were grilling Hollywood execs over the marketing of R-rated movies to pre-teens, I was sort of hoping somebody would ask why they felt it necessary to so corrupt a perfectly thrilling and real piece of history. Because the answer, too, I suspect, is a marketing issue: American audiences want to see American heroes. Unlike NBC - which pretends that its evening prime-time telecasts of the Olympics from Sydney are actually taking place live, as we watch them - Universal didn`t pretend that this movie was pure fiction, nor did it deny the British their heritage. Indeed, Lt. Commander David Balme, who led the British boarding party and earned a Distinguished Service Cross from King George VI, was consulted in the making of the movie. I wonder if he noted at all the absence of British accents by the central characters?

So, clearly, "U-571" is neither a documentary nor a historic re-enactment. It is kind of sad, though, that Hollywood feels that British accents would somehow impact revenue, maybe even relegate this film to art houses or - worse - public television. Apparently, they never saw nor heard of "Das Boot." But then, audiences didn`t exactly flock to "U-571." A theatrical box office of $80 million on a big-budget picture just isn`t big cheese. Not when another studio can pull in $180 million with a tale about a little fishing boat in that same Atlantic. ("Perfect Storm" was based on a true story, too.)

I wonder how we`d have reacted if the Japanese had made the movie about a band of brave tuna harvesters from Kyoto battling the perfect storm? Ah, well, it is just a movie. Let the academics ponder the meaning of our need to always be the heroes, the winners and the best of everything. Just remember when you watch "U-571" that this only happens in movies, not history. Even the U.S. women`s soccer team now knows that we can`t win everything all the time.

"U-571" stars the Texan Matthew McConaughey, the Jersey rocker Jon Bon Jovi, the New Yorker Harvey Keitel and Bill Paxton - who is either from the South or affects a darn good Southern accent in many of his movies.ALSO THIS WEEK:

"The Rocky Horror Picture Show" (20th Century Fox, VHS/$15, 2 DVD/$30, R) - Well, we`ve done the Time Warp right into the 25th anniversary of this true cultural phenomenon. Happy anniversary, Janet and Brad! This movie went from being a box-office bomb to grossing $150 million - and it is still in regular play as a midnight special in theaters around the world. The double-disc DVD has a ton of extras, including the United Kingdom version with the "Superheroes" scene edited back into the movie; point-of-view capability; audience participation component; outtakes; alternate credit endings; alternate takes from key scenes; star interviews; and lots more. The then obscure stars of the film include Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon, Barry Bostwick, Meat Loaf and Patricia Quinn.

"Dolphins" (Image, VHS/$20, documentary) - Originally an IMAX movie, this spectacular look at these inquisitive, playful, complex and sometimes fierce marine mammals will leave you completely in awe. Pierce Brosnan narrates, Sting provides songs and music.

"But I`m a Cheerleader" (Universal, VHS/rental, DVD/$25, R) - Megan (Natasha Lyonne who did a memorable performance in "Slums of Beverly Hills") is the All-American girl with everything going for her. She`s pretty, popular, has a boyfriend and is a cheerleader. Life is good. Until her parents (Mink Stole and Bud Cort) begin to suspect she has a deviant side. She`s shuttled off to True Directions rehabilitation camp for a little sexual reorientation. She tries to find the straight and narrow, but it is here that Megan lets her hormones do the talking to seek out the girl of her dream. Ru Paul fans get to see the queen of drag out of mufti as Mike the True Directions counselor. OK, it is a comedy, but not the funniest you`ll run across this month.

"Starry Night" (Universal, VHS/rental, PG-13) - Vincent Van Gogh (Abbott Alexander) returns to life in modern-day Los Angeles to learn that he is a highly revered artist. Just wait until he asks for his artworks back. He eventually earns the name, the Van Gogh Bandit. Fortunately, he also meets Kathy (Lisa Waltz), a young art student who inspires him to begin painting again. At any rate, he only has 100 days to set his life in order. Writer-director Paul Davids is also the author of the acclaimed TV movie "Roswell."

"Snow Day" (Paramount, VHS/rental, DVD/$30, PG) - Tom Branston (Chevy Chase) is the only weatherman in town who predicted the big snowstorm that shut down the schools and businesses in his upstate New York burg. Problem is, he`s also the least-watched weatherman on TV. Branston`s kids make the most of the day - as do all kids who have been handed the gift of a day off from school. The bad guys in this lightweight comedy are the rival TV weather guy (John Schneider) and the guy who drives the snowplow (Chris Elliott). Also pulling credits here are Jean Smart, Pam Grier and youngsters Mark Webber, Zena Grey and Emmanuelle Chriqui. The DVD includes a commentary track by director Chris Koch and co-writers Will McRobb and Chris Viscardi. The movie is a great vehicle for ski-mobile product placement, I`ll give it that.

"Wirey Spindell" (WinStar, unrated, VHS/rental, DVD/$30) - A comedy by another do-it-all guy, Eric Schaeffer, who wrote, directed and stars in this romantic comedy. He`s the title character, getting married in nine days and riddled with doubt even though everybody says Tabatha (Callie Thorne) is the best thing to happen to him since AA. He goes on a soul-searching quest, reviews his past, explores how he arrived at this point in his life, yada, yada.

"Bossa Nova" (Columbia TriStar, R, VHS/rental, DVD/$30) - Amy Irving stars in this romantic comedy set in Rio de Janeiro. She is a widowed schoolteacher who has given up on love. Ah, but she is in Rio, the city of love, surrounded by a host of characters dealing in the very topic. From the filmmaker Bruno Barreto and with music by Sting and Antonio Carlos Jobim - how can she not find love? In Portuguese with English subtitles.

"Rosemary`s Baby" (Paramount, VHS/$15, DVD/$30, R) - Oh, sure, "The Exorcist" is getting the star treatment in theaters, all buffed up and fleshed out with an extra 10 minutes of "crab walking." Well, here`s the other scary movie from that era. This is the one that affirmed our suspicion that sometimes "they really are out to get you." Released in 1968, this movie gave motherhood a black eye. Mia Farrow was the young Rosemary and John Cassavetes was her husband. The creepy neighbors who took an inordinate interest in Rosemary`s pregnancy were Ruth Gordon and Sidney Blackmer. Both formats include new interviews with director Roman Polanski, producer Robert Evans and designer Richard Sylbert.

"East-West" (Columbia TriStar, VHS/rental, PG-13) - An expatriate Soviet doctor and his French bride decide to return to post-war Russia (in 1946) to rebuild the mother country. Instead of the warm reception promised by Stalin, they are met with interrogations, deprivations and suspicions. These are grim times for all in Russia, but the young doctor begins to make a place for his talents among the people. His wife meets a touring French actress (Catherine Deneuve) and soon faces a choice of abandoning her husband and child for freedom or staying and confronting this grim future with them. (In French and Russian with English subtitles.)GIFTED:

Here`s a gift that will keep on giving for that special "Being John Malkovich" fan in your life. USA Home Entertainment has packaged the off-beat triple-Oscar-nominee movie about people who find a trap door into the consciousness of the actor Malkovich with an unusual set of nesting dolls. You know, the little dolls that fit one inside the other. In this case, the largest has the film`s title, followed by the faces of Malkovich, John Cusack, Catherine Keener and Cameron Diaz. The package is $35. Very cool. Right up there with the highly collectable snow globes that were once packaged annually for several years with the movie "Fargo."COMING ATTRACTIONS:

The Russell Crowe action period film "Gladiator" debuts on video Nov. 21. The DVD is a double-disc set, containing four hours of supplemental material. The popular film ($158 million box office) will go toga to toga with two other biggies, "X-Men" and "Chicken Run." Of the three, only "Gladiator" will be a rental. The other two will be retail-priced. Do not confuse this "Gladiator" title with an older, identically named movie, which is trying to piggy back on the cinematic success of Crowe`s blockbuster. If it doesn`t come from DreamWorks, you don`t want it.

(c) Copley News Service

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Author: Robert J. Hawkins