Coping with a Painful Loss

by Peter Proko | Nov 14, 2024

Heartbreaking. Tragic. Devastating. Unimaginable. Those are just some of the words that were echoed throughout South Jersey, Columbus, Ohio, Calgary, Alberta, and around the globe when news broke that NHL superstar Johnny Gaudreau and his brother Matthew were killed by an alleged drunk driver while riding bicycles near their family’s Salem County home in late August.

On the surface, the story of two young men taken in the prime of their lives would be horrifying enough. But it becomes even more heart-rending due to the fact that the tragedy happened the evening before their sister Katie’s wedding. Further adding to the painful layers of grief, Matt, his wife Madeleine and the rest of the family were excited for the upcoming birth of their first son, Tripp. Meanwhile, Johnny and his wife Meredith were also expecting their third child.

Mourning the loss of loved ones is something that many can relate to, but the gripping sadness to this story continues to reverberate.

“Honestly, I don’t know if it feels real, even to this day,” says Hunter Brody, a host on 94WIP and very close friend of the brothers. “But as much as it hurts me and my wife, just thinking of the family brings you to a whole different level of pain.”

As a young hockey player playing at Hollydell Ice Arena, Brody was well aware of the Gaudreau name. Guy Gaudreau has long been a highly respected coach and figure in the South Jersey hockey community and his sons, like so many others, grew up refining their skills at the rink.

But it wasn’t until Brody attended Gloucester Catholic High School, where Guy was coaching and building a dominant program, that he got to share the ice with Matt Gaudreau. That freshman year, Brody and Matt also shared every single class together and the two soon became inseparable. As their relationship grew, so did Brody’s bond with the older Johnny.

“I’m staying over their house and we wake up in the morning and there is Coach Guy making us breakfast,” Brody fondly recalls.

Years prior to this, Anthony Calabrese was forming a similar bond with Johnny as the two grew up together. “Their grandmother used to be our ride to school,” he says.

Over the years, their friend group would grow and give themselves the moniker The Hollydell Boys, spending countless hours together on and off the ice.

Needless to say, Calabrese was not prepared to grasp the loss of two of his best friends.

“It was shellshock to say the least,” Calabrese says. “It’s not a phone call you ever expect to receive; to hear about two of your best friends passing away. The only thing we can do is really cherish the moments we had with them.”

John Sasselli’s two sons, ages 17 and 8, also learned the game of hockey under Guy’s tutelage at Hollydell. “Everyone wanted to try and get on [Guy’s] team if they could. He was hard on them, but definitely one of the better coaches around. He was just great with the kids,” he says.

Sasselli’s oldest is now an accomplished player at the club level, but formerly spent one year at Gloucester Catholic where he played on a team led by Matt, who followed in his father’s footsteps and became the school’s head coach in 2022. The Sasselli family, like so many others connected to the Gaudreaus, struggled with the news.

“It wasn’t just us, everyone was devastated. We knew Guy and [his wife] Jane, and hearing what happened, it was terrible news,” Sasselli says.

Mike Gadzinski’s son had a similar story, learning to skate at Hollydell under Guy’s watchful eye before landing at Gloucester Catholic as a freshman on the hockey team the same year Matt took over the program. Gadzinski, also an alum, credits Matt’s vested interest in his son with helping him grow as a player. “We will be forever grateful for Matty’s guidance and trust in Andrew,” he says.

Watching his son flourish while getting to know the Gaudreau family better, made the news even more difficult for Gadzinski to process.

“To be honest, once the news was confirmed, I was sick to my stomach. … As a parent, all I could think was, ‘If I feel this way, what is happening to the Gaudreau family right now?’ My heart was broken for them. I was angry. I went through a gamut of feelings that I think many have also shared and felt,” he says.

The tragedy certainly hit home with the rest of the Gloucester Catholic community as well.

“My initial reaction was shock and sadness. I did not want to believe that it was true,” says Thomas Iacovone, principal. “Matt and John were incredible hockey talents but they were even better people. They showed everyone they came in contact with how to love and they got that from their amazing family.”

Ryan Murphy, director of athletics and the school’s enrollment manager, shares similar sentiments: “Whether you knew them or not, I think any parent who heard of this immediately put themselves in Guy and Jane’s shoes and were crushed. Knowing them made it especially hard because I know how incredibly tight they are as a family. Guy and Jane and their four children are each other’s biggest fans and supporters. It is really enviable how supportive and loving they are of each other.”

For the past eight years, Pat Murphy has been the head of the Johnny Gaudreau Scholarship Golf Tournament, which helped provide student tuition assistance to Gloucester Catholic families in need. It was a cause near and dear to all those involved and just another example of the Gaudreaus giving back to the community they came from.

“They played around the world, but they never forgot their Gloucester Catholic family roots,” says Murphy, the school’s executive director of development. “They gave their time, talent and treasure back to Gloucester Catholic because of their love of the school.”

Soon after their passing, the school knew it wanted to do something special to honor Johnny and Matt’s legacy. They decided to hold a quiet night of remembrance to honor the Gaudreaus, decorating the gymnasium with photos and jerseys. Nearly 1,000 people showed up as a sign of support and to pay their respects.

“It was a sad but also heartwarming evening,” says Iacovone. “They are a close-knit family who is always there for each other and for their community.”

Many of the folks who know the Gaudreau family talk about how approachable and friendly they were. Johnny, who was a prominent player in the NHL for both the Calgary Flames and more recently the Columbus Blue Jackets, did not come across as a pretentious star athlete. Matt achieved his own level of success in the game, playing at Boston College like his older brother and having a stint in the American Hockey League before joining the coaching ranks. Yet, the two were approachable and happy to engage anyone who wanted to get an autograph, take a picture or just talk hockey.

“They always made themselves available, especially to young kids,” says Mitch Larnerd, president of Checking for Charity, an organization that the Gaudreau family was heavily involved with. “I don’t think there’s anything we ever asked them to do to help promote the charity that they didn’t do at 110% to help the cause. They were just great, down-to-earth people.”

Sean Grevy, who connected with Johnny while playing in the annual Checking for Charity tournament, formed his own lasting bond with the star player. Grevy would go on to start his own foundation, 43 Oak, to give players of color and from underserved communities the opportunity to feel welcomed in a sport that traditionally has a lot of barriers to entry. Johnny would often skate with the kids and offer tips and advice on ways to improve their game. Grevy says it’s those special moments that are something those young men will never forget.

“So many of my players have gotten the short end of the stick pretty much their entire lives, so to be able to see the smiles on their faces while they are warming up across from and playing against Johnny Gaudreau; for some of the kids that was better than making it to the NHL,” Grevy says.

“For me personally, getting to know [Johnny] over these years and to see what kind of guy he was, that’s what makes this whole thing hurt that much more,” Grevy adds.

Jim Mackey is the owner of Hollydell Ice Arena, and recalls watching both Johnny and Matt through the years.

“Johnny was a fantastic hockey player, and I watched him do things on our ice that I was stunned by, and I have played hockey my whole life,” he says. “But I also refer back to Matt and his involvement coming back to Hollydell and throwing himself into being a coach and doing a great job mentoring our players. He was a presence in our rink and just a good person. He gave everyone a smile, said hello and made everyone’s day better. Just a super nice kid who always brought a positive air to the rink.”

Given the Gaudreaus’ strong ties to Hollydell, Mackey and his staff knew they had to honor Johnny and Matt in some fashion. In September, Hollydell held a special ceremony for the family at which they announced the futures ice rink would be renamed The Gaudreau Rink.

“They were tremendously inspirational and they will continue to be inspirational, so I chose to name the rink where all our young kids start playing here after the Gaudreaus to keep that link alive,” say Mackey. “I was asked early on, ‘What are you guys going to do?’ Well, we are going to be sad and we are going to grieve and we’re going to do that for as long as it takes. I don’t know how long that’s going to be, but at the same time, we are going to keep celebrating them because that’s what they deserve.”

As tributes near and far continue to take place, the pain associated with the Gaudreau brothers’ passing isn’t likely to subside anytime soon, but those who knew them best continue to support the family and keep their memories alive.

“We did lose two of our best friends, but [their sisters] Katie and Kristen still have another nine or 10 brothers. We are always going to be there for them,” Calabrese affirms. “We’re fortunate to be very close friends with them and we want to continue their legacy and let them watch over us. We are going to enjoy our lives and know they are always there with us.”

“What helps for me,” says Brody, “is when we are all together at the Gaudreau house; it’s almost normal. Because we know that when we were all there, that’s because Matty and Johnny were there. It brought us together and made it feel like this wasn’t happening because that’s where we were always together as one.”

“Through all of this, the common thread echoed over and over has been family,” says Gadzinski. “You can see just how close they are and just how close even friends of the brothers are. It’s something that can’t be stated enough. Family is everything.”

Click here to subscribe to the free digital editions of South Jersey Magazine

To read the digital edition of South Jersey Magazine, click here.

Article continues below

- A Show of Strength

With the state ravaged by the COVID-19 pandemic, South Jersey is proving there’s more ways than one to put up a fight.

- Seizing the Moment

After the spring season was canceled last year due to the pandemic, these standout student-athletes from South Jersey are hoping to make the most of their opportunities in 2021.

- Cream of the Crop

These nine standout student-athletes from South Jersey are primed for greatness this fall.

Published and copyrighted in South Jersey Magazine, Volume 21, Issue 7 (October 2024)

For more info on South Jersey Magazine, click here.
To subscribe to South Jersey Magazine, click here.
To advertise in South Jersey Magazine, click here.

Author: Peter Proko

Coping with a Painful Loss

Related Articles

Archives